Meeting My Inner Guide- A Monday Meditation

Posted byJulia WagnerPosted inJulia's ExperiencesTags:, , , , , , , , ,

I’m feeling the need to communicate. 
Feeling “extra”. 
I want to talk all the time. 
I feel the need to purge the abundance of expression inside me.
I want to word vomit all over the place. 

Those are the phrases that keep popping into my head as I try to define how I feel, ‘off’ this day.

For context:

We’ve just come out of what Greg calls the “mini ice age”- two weeks of temperatures below freezing, highlighted with freezing rain, ice, and snow. People are snowed in, or struggling to maneuver the ice.

I’m thinking about the problem, “overthinking” even, and realizing that “dwelling” has never helped, and “thinking” itself RARELY helps with my own or my clients’ emotional problems. 

That’s why I like working with the subconscious mind. It offers different perspectives.

So I start asking myself some questions.

What will allow me to feel calm, if talking about my agitation isn’t the answer?

“BEING calm”, I hear.

So I wonder, “What allows me to be CALM?”

“Choosing a calm mind state.” the answer comes.

I think of the primary mantra I use to helps me reflect- Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.  Chanting this has always helped me to create that state of alignment, so I started thinking that mantra to myself, “Nam Myoho Renge Kyo”- and begin to FEEL that vibration settle in.

I hold this place in my mind for a few moments, in conjunction with a certain “peaceful desire” to expand into a broader perspective.

I closed my eyes.

Immediately I see a Buddhist monk sitting across from me in the lotus position. That was FAST, my critical mind chimes in, realizing in this vision I’m mirroring his own posture.

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“I have three questions for you”, he says to me, quickly. “What is your age?”

“45,” I answer him, thinking, “That’s a weird question for a meditation?” and wondering what age has to do with whatever is about to transpire…

“What is your name” he rattles off,

“Julia Wagner” I say.

I’m starting to wonder if I’m filling out a subscription form when he asks, “What is your Resistance?”

Without much hesitation, I answer: “Going through the motions, repeating things, or putting anything on automatic”.

It caught me off guard that I answered the third question almost as effortlessly as the first two. Interesting that the problem wasn’t immediately related to the symptoms of “expression” or communication, either, looking back.

I’m noting this as a hypnotist and quantum healer.  With rapid fire questions we bypass the thinking part of the brain. And while I’ve used this technique myself, it was funny to notice my own skills being used FOR me.  My critical faculty thought: “that’s funny, I knew exactly what I needed to say.  I’m surprised I articulated that so effortlessly.”

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The guide seemed to understand my thoughts and to agree- that this recognition of my resistance was a positive attribute, nodding to me.  He explained, telepathically- that it was my desire to grow beyond this programming that brought me HERE.  This is the place to overcome such things. The desire itself brings anyone who has this particular need here- or somewhere like this.  He motioned.

I wondered about his form.  Is this monk real, or a projection?

“Both,” he communicated, “This place is a projection- intentionally and consciously created for this purpose.  My form is very similar to a form I’ve taken in another life, but I admit, my personality is less “monk like” in this “present”.  I exist in human form, currently, yet this part of me plays THIS role, as a monk.  In my present life, I’m not recognized as a monk.  (he chuckled and gave me the impression of a more “modern” man dressed in contemporary clothing; a little bit shy that he’s playing a “role”).

“This interaction is “real”, however.” he made me overtly aware of this by sharing his energy.

At that moment, I could FEEL his “realness”. 

He allowed me to connect with his soul, and I noticed his compassion all around me. THAT was REAL.

I started to cry.  I felt, so loved, to be allowed the luxury of this awareness.

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I wondered if his conscious mind- his present “self” was aware of this aspect?

Not particularly.  He assured me, I wasn’t taking any “awareness” away from anyone else. There was only benefit to this interaction. This is how compassion expands us.

He shared that, as a Bodhisattva, his conscious mind isn’t entirely unaware of this role, either, however there’s little benefit for the conscious mind to remain consistently aware, as the conscious mind is limited as we embody these dimensions. 

So.  This is how most Bodhisattva work, moving in an out of consensus time, leaving parts of our awareness elsewhere.  This is the role I’m training in and becoming more proficient with now.  This is why my memory is becoming less solid.  Only as we embody our highest parts-as Buddhas- do we retain a jewel like awareness of these connections and work having complete memory of the infinite past and awareness of all potential futures. These perspectives and relationships follow the principles you’ve been made aware of in the Lotus Sutra (principals of Myoho Renge Kyo).

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My own body is mimicking his own gesticulations, I notice, as if I’m channeling this information.  He isn’t entirely separate from me, he explains- conveying his meaning with words, gestures, and sometimes with telepathic imagery. Most of these things I just “know”- so I might call this “claircognition”.

“You, of all people, have an expanded understanding of time and the nature of these relationships. We’re using quantum principles here.  How long does it take me to hand you a gift and for you to receive it?” 

That phrase echoed, creating a quantum awareness of time and space.

 I’m aware of a similar passage from the Lotus Sutra often, but hearing this from this teacher, I’m able to experience this meaning on a whole new level.

As this is happening, he offers me a gift of understanding.

I received his gift, physically reaching out my arms and embracing the air to accept this.

At this point, I start seeing a color and shape with my third eye- not with my imagination, but physically this time, what might be called a “closed eye visual” . I’m seeing it there in my vision, this purple color.

I see a brilliant blossom, opening and closing, rhythmically.  Almost as if a rose or peony opening at sunrise and constricting at dusk. Perhaps even a lotus, but not as angular as I’m used to-  This flower has soft rounded petals with scalloped edges. Everything about this is soft, save the color which is intense. The flower moved fluidly, and reminded me of a watercolor painting, except so much more vivid.  The purple color seemed important.   I knew this represented my own heart =my desire to help others attain higher understanding or compassion.  I kept seeing this blossom, throbbing with energy, continuously opening, perpetually in bloom yet refreshing its energy with each beat of my heart.  I’ve had violet flame imagery before, and this was VERY similar energy, swirling and igniting the violet blossom continuously emerging.

I heard: 

“THIS is all you need to put on repeat.”

And

“This is all you need to worry about.”

I stayed in this energy for several minutes.

I committed this feeling to memory and asked for this guides name.

Gadja, I see/hear.  “But anyone here can help” (just like I told people when I worked providing customer service- anyone here can help you!) He isn’t alone in this role it would seem.

My takeaway?

It’s easy to get answers- All it takes is the desire to understand and a moment of aligned reflection with which to accept this understanding.  It doesn’t take time, or even “effort’. 

When it comes to being “repetitive”, never worry about repeating love.

I don’t have to “word vomit” to express myself. There are other ways to communicate effectively that don’t involve words at all.

As a follow up:

My ex-boyfriend calls me from prison immediately after the experience while I’m in the middle of writing this article, and asks, “How’ve you been?”

I hesitated a moment, wondering, “Should I tell him?  Can I even describe the state I was just experiencing?”

I guess I’ve nothing to lose, and he’s a captive audience, so I do my best to explain what I was shown, telling him, “as a professional weirdo, there’s very little I hold back these days.”

He takes it in.

—

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There isn’t anything special about me. But many people don’t have the confidence, practice, or tools I’ve encountered.  That’s why I enjoy sharing these weird experiences with others.  Part of the process of being “enlightened” is wanting to SHARE these perspectives and expand these abilities to connect. The more the merrier, after all. 

Does this ability to connect sound useful?  It has been for me.  

I now offer a modality called Quantum Connect-sessions designed to help you bypass your critical parts while engaging your Soul’s intuition. Message me at 5dquantumexpansion@gmail.com to schedule your Quantum Connect session.

My superpower is helping you access YOUR OWN higher wisdom to discover YOUR BEST catalysts for growth. These resources can be vast, unique, and personal. It’s my honor to facilitate in depth Beyond Quantum Healing Sessions that include aspects like Past Life Regression and speaking with your Unconscious Mind.

Are you ready to take the leap or know someone who is?

Message me for more information or to schedule your quantum experience.  

You’re worth it!

Julia Wagner

5dquantumexpansion@gmail.com

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